Bad Days (Four Days Book 3) by A. S. Kelly

Author:A. S. Kelly [Kelly, A. S.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-07-30T16:00:00+00:00

17

JASON

We go back home and I take off her shoes and jacket and help her lie down in my bed, and she permits me to do it.

Every time I brush her skin it leaves me breathless because I’m so charged on emotion, fear and anguish because just touching her makes me think of all I’d like to do with her but can’t.

I tucked her in and stayed next to her, watching her and smiling because that’s all I’m allowed to do.

“I can’t do it,” she says in a whisper, turning on her side to be able to look at me.

“What can’t you do?” I ask, running my hands through her hair that’s spread out on the pillow.

“I can’t love, Jason. I can’t love you…I can’t give you what you want.”

“And what is that?”

“Well, you know…not everything.”

I’d like to tell her that it’s enough for me that she’s here and that she will stay here and that she loves me, even half as much as I do. That she smiles at me and she’ll let me watch her sleep, walk, eat, drink, talk, cry, laugh and breathe.

Live.

I’d like to tell her all of this, but in truth, I do understand what she’s trying to tell me and I’m not ready to deal with it all right now.

“Jason…” She looks at me with eyes full of terror and I’d like to just hold her to me and let her understand that it’s all okay, whatever she wants to give me is alright.

It will be enough.

I swear.

“You can’t love me. I don’t know anything about love. I wouldn’t know how to make you happy, how to…”

“Stop talking smack.”

“I’m not made for love.”

“It’s true,” I tell her, continuing to run my hands in her hair, remaining at the safety distance from her skin that I’d like to kiss and taste until she tells me to stop.

“You weren’t made for love, you were made for me.”

I lean in closer with the fear that I could ruin this intimate moment with too reckless a gesture.

A tear runs down her face and I rub it off and bring it to my lips. If it’s the only contact I can have, I’ll make it last.

“Do you…want to lie down next to me?” she asks, biting her lip and I could die on the spot, at her feet. I could just die wanting to hold her and transmit everything I am not able to say in words.

I get up and take off my shoes and sweatshirt. I go to unbutton my jeans but I can see the fear in her eyes, so I rethink that one and just sit down next to her.

“Make me some space,” I ask her and she moves back, a bit too much to be honest, almost falling off the other side. So I lift the covers, I grab her waist with an arm and pull her back to me, touching her lightly with my fingers.

“Relax, everything is okay. I’m not going to let anything

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